Aren't you excited?

"Aren't you excited? You're almost done! No more driving." If I heard that (or a variant of it) said one time this weekend, I heard it a hundred. While I was in Bham and Chattanooga we saw LOTS of family due to Angie's wedding shower and stuff. So. Of COURSE my answer was "Oh yes! Can't wait. Gonna be great. Hard to believe." etc etc etc.

And I know me saying this is going to sound horrible, but hear me out.

I really can't believe it. And I am trying to NOT be excited about it. See, over the past 2 years and 4 months of us being apart and doing the whole "driving/every other weekend thing" we have going now (and even before I knew Matt, with things like my Mercer drama), there has been LOTS of disappointments. LOTS. Most of them brought upon myself, but some from others, and some (BIG ones) from the school. And so I am "cautiously" optimistic. And I KNOW it is SO unrealistic. But I keep thinking about what if the school calls, and there was some error. Or I don't know. I just think it would be the worst thing, the most heart breaking thing if I DON'T get to go back. See, our marriage has been different. And the idea of getting to see Matt EVERY day. Of never having to count down. NEVER having to say goodbye. NEVER having to hide tears because we're in the parking lot somewhere saying goodbye. All that seems to good to be true. So for the next 2 1/2 weeks, I am trying to act like normal, and not dream too much. But oh man. I CAN'T wait! And you know, there is the whole graduating and FINALLY after so long, being done with school, an actual graduation. And mine and Matt's first vacation with my family, and my little sister Angie getting married, and dear Grace's baby shower, and starting my job. You know, the grown-up pharmacist job. And the whole "getting use to being with Matt all the time now." All of this within a month. Needless to say, I MIGHT be a little emotional.

On the way down to Savannah yesterday I was thinking about graduation and I started tearing up. Then I started thinking about Ang's wedding, and the tears kept coming. So I am not planning on ANY good pictures from any of these events, just a warning ;)

Can you believe?!?

It was September 23, 2007. We were at church in Bham, and I was sitting next to Danelle (and Matt of course). Matt and I had been married 2 months and 9 days. And I was, in about 2 hours, going to leave to go back to Savannah. For basically, the next 1 year and 9 months. And then the worship band started singing "Mighty to Save." And I lost it. Started bawling in church. The HUGE HUGE mountain Matt and I had to climb, seemed impossible. I just did NOT see how the next year and 9 months were going to ever pass. It still seems like that day was yesterday, I just start thinking about that day, and I just feel sad and hopeless all over.


And here we are, THREE weeks from this ALL being over. GOD IS SO GOOD! :)

Distance makes the heart grow fonder...

Bull. Distance makes me get all emotional/hormonal and weepy. And it makes Matt want to strangle me because of all the weepiness.

So, in the spirit of missing Matt SO much right now, here is a sweet video he made me after we'd been dating four months. Have I mentioned that I love him?

BEACH

Taken when we went camping at Daufin Island

I LOVE the beach. LOVE it. And it is one of my most favorite things about Savannah (besides historic downtown, which I also love). Today we went (me and roomie Susan) and it was glorious. A beautiful day and the water wasn't cold at all. And I got my first sun burn of the season (hopefully my last). Being so close to the beach is one thing I am going to miss (one of the ONLY things) when I leave this place in THREE weeks and SIX days! :)

Breaking my Heart

Just a disclaimer: I try NOT to get preachy. I don't feel like I am anywhere near good/smart/wise enough of a person/woman/wife/daughter/etc to give ANYONE advice. But this just plain out upset me:

http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/showbiz/2009/05/15/sbt.kate.jon.scandal.cnn


I don't know how to put the video in my blog, but I think this whole Jon & Kate + 8 thing is just so sad. Heartbreaking. And goes to show you what happens when a man and woman don't support each other. And how important it is to respect your husband (well, that applies before all this cheating stuff happened). And, a quote that made me twinge:

"Let's face it, for the most part, marriages don't last"

I have to admit, I have watched Jon & Kate. And it really makes me sick inside, watching the way she berates him. WHY is he not putting his foot down with her horrible attitude. For all those who don't know better, this is NOT how a marriage should work (before the cheating scandal, and of course, afterwards). I really hope that those cheating allegations aren't true,and I hope they meet someone along their path who will show/teach them what a Christ-centered marriage looks like. I know that I have only had a year and 10 months of marriage "experience" and for the most of that time, we haven't even lived together. But I know that Matt needs to be respected. And if I ever talked to him like Kate talks to Jon (cheating, aside) in PRIVATE (not to mention on tv) he would not stand for it. Matt and I, the day we married, became 1. That means, to the best of our ability, we fulfill our Biblical roles towards one another. He loves me as Christ loves the church (which he does so wonderfully) and I respect AND submit to him (oh no! I said the dreaded s-word ;)) (I TRY to respect him, and am learning how best to do that more and more every day).

*Ok, sorry I ranted. That won't happen again for a LONG time! (and I'm going to stop going to the entertainment page on cnn.com)

Graduating

It's quite the theme in the Grant house. Graduating. Going from one place to another. Moving on and up.

This is my beautiful sister. She graduated this past Friday. And she's getting married on June 27th. And in the past week she's had to change the church she's getting married at AND her bridesmaid dresses. And you know how Ang has handled it? Calmly. Gracefully. My sister has grown up. She HAS graduated. And I am SO proud. So thankful. It feels weird to call her my little sister, because Angie is not. She is my best friend and has been my biggest encouragement. She has called me almost every day, just to check. I am so thankful for her. Congratulations Angie!!!!

It's been awhile

Ok, so much to say, so many pictures to upload. BUT I have been SO tired. Last night I fell asleep at 8:30, and tonight I've already taken a nap, and if Susan wasn't on the couch right now watching American Idol, I would already be asleep.

Today I did my dress rehearsal for my grand rounds (which is on Thursday). I have 50 slides, which theoretically, should last 50 minutes. Yeah, I did it in 20. When I finished, my two professor advisers, at the same time, said "SLOW DOWN." Dangit. They said everything was great, except for the fact that I flew through it. Dr. Porter (who has been known to cover 100+ slides in 50 minutes) said I go faster than him. So, tomorrow I'll be practicing. S-L-O-W-L-Y.