Like Everyone Else

Right now Levi is jumping all over the living room in his Christmas pajamas while the Thomas theme song plays from the TV. And I want to grab him up and not let him. I want to hold him. I want to home school him and never go anywhere. I want to hole up in this house and never leave. We will teach the boys all they need to know and will go and get the food, clothes, and books they need to have. We can have supervised playdates with the children and parents we choose. Cousins and grandparents can come over when we carefully arrange based on their child's behavior and who has been sick.

That is what I want to do. Matt is at Lowe's right now and maybe he could pick up some bricks to put around our yard.

That is the only way I know how to be SURE that what happened to those sweet children and their teachers doesn't happen to my boys. It will keep them from getting the flu that  can be deadly too. And that way they'll never feel left out or alone, because I will control every aspect of their interacting with this world.

Except this world is fallen. And lost. And dark. And the only way for me to protect them and to love them well is to place them fully in God's hands. And to come to terms with the fact that MY idea of protection and safety is not the same as God's.I have to hold my children tightly in my heart, but with loose hands. I really have no words to express what has happened over the last 24 hours to those families in Connecticut. None. So many have said so much and we don't even know half of the story yet.

There are so many articles that you need to read.  Here are a few of them: Mother's Prayer by Kristyn Getty, Moore to the Point, John Piper, and Al Mohler's article (this one you HAVE to read).